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<p>Ok, I may have just gone off the deep end.</p>
<p><img class="aligncenter size-large wp-image-3721" src="https://toddkmarsha.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/lasagna-food-350x263-1.jpg" alt="" width="350" height="263" /></p>
<p>2 slices of ice cream cake to celebrate my employer’s 75<sup>th</sup> Anniversary! DQ ™ blizzard cake with Heath ™ and Reese&#8217;s Peanut Butter Cups ™ mixed in. Mmmmm…so good. Not to mention Italian food for lunch. Ziti, lasagna, and eggplant – quite a triple threat.</p>
<p>I didn’t fall asleep in my chair, thank goodness, but I didn&#8217;t feel my best afterwards either. Carbs like sugar and white flour usually give me discomfort in my liver , make me lethargic and lead to bathroom breaks that aren&#8217;t all that fun, to say the least.</p>
<p>Why, oh why do I torture myself so?</p>
<h3>An Overweight Burden</h3>
<p>Food has always been a focal point in my life. I come from an overweight and undernourished family. We joke about how the men develop “The Marsha Gut”. I had mine by the time I was four years old, unlike my cousins who were all of normal weight growing up. My father would bribe me with sweets so I would ride with him when he did his field work. My mom was a frugal grocery shopper which meant cube steak, casseroles and hot dogs for dinner. I wasn’t very active as a kid, either. I couldn’t master riding a bike and Mom rarely let me out alone on the rural road in front of our house where cars often traveled too fast for their own good.</p>
<p>I guess the deck was stacked against me. I developed bad habits. Bad eating habits and bad dieting habits. My Dad lost 100 pounds when I was 9 years old using the Blackburn Diet, a precursor of the Atkins Plan. He gained them all back and then some. I would find myself on a new diet every other week but I would also find myself emulating my father by eating second helpings and snacking at night.</p>
<p>I carried my weight well into adulthood but finally cracked the code, losing 105 pounds over the course of 7 years, 50 of them in 2010 alone. How did I do it? I have an old boss to thank for part of my inspiration. He told me just to imagine playing football with Jack as he’s growing up and how I wouldn’t be able to keep up tipping the scales at 300 pounds. I still carry that mental picture with me but on that fateful anniversary day all I was thinking about was gluttony. The taste, the smell, the shared experience of a big celebration.</p>
<h3>Connecting with a New Vision</h3>
<p>My frustration and helplessness led me straight to God. I asked Him “why?” and He sent me the answer very quickly. Thank you again Lord for your bountiful wisdom. It was nothing more than a lack of vision. I’d let it get away for a few moments and that’s all it took for the devil to swoop in and gain a foothold.</p>
<p>Recently I clawed and scratched my way back down to 215 from 235, losing the weight I’d gained since moving from Wichita back to Kansas City. I had a real sense of purpose then. Once I saw what 215 looked like again and experienced what it felt like, I let off. I took it easy for a bit and that’s when the evil one snuck in and took control. Sadly, I&#8217;ve done this before – reached a goal and hung out there awhile literally sick of all the sacrifice that went into getting there.</p>
<p>What&#8217;s the deal?</p>
<p>Maybe it’s that final number of 180 pounds? Is it a bit too far away? Is it too hard to reach because I’m not sure what it looks like? Perhaps it’s only a number and that’s why it seems so elusive. Isn’t what I can do at 180 so much more important that being 180 itself?</p>
<p>Why am I slimming down anyway?</p>
<p>The vision of playing football with Jack is great but there’s so much more. You see, I&#8217;m getting healthy in order to do the work God has put me here to do. I&#8217;ll need to be fit and energetic to meet the demands he&#8217;ll put upon me. I can only see bits and pieces of His plan now but I just feel in my heart that the work I’m to do will carry me near and far. Near as in my backyard with my son, my dog and a bunch of my neighbors. Far – well I’ll just leave that up to God.</p>
<p><em><strong>Question: Have you taken a negative from your upbringing and turned into a positive – creating change for yourself and inspiring others? I’d love to hear your story in the form of a comment below…</strong></em></p>
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