I can remember standing in front of mirror for twenty minutes back in grade school trying to get my hair just right. I often walked away frustrated due to a couple nasty cowlicks but looking back on it; I give myself an “A” for effort.
As time passed and the things I valued started to change, speed became a priority and my hair got shorter and shorter. I write this because I’m reminded of my penchant for loitering in front of mirrors due to my success in the weight loss arena. I’ve dropped over 100 pounds since 2004, yet I’ve developed a bad habit in the process.
I’m So Vain – I Bet I Think This Blog Is About Me
Several times a day, I’ll catch myself stopping in front of a mirror and looking at myself in profile. Hmmm… Is my tummy any smaller since the last time I looked?
Some days it would be two or three times. Some days it would be any time I walked by a mirror. I just HAD to take a look. Like I could really tell if anything was different? Sometimes I could but, most of the time, it was the same guy.
How did I get so neurotic all of a sudden?
I identified a pattern one day. My mirror watching craziness followed on the heels of bad food choices I was making. I started looking at myself in the mirror to see how much ground I was losing. At what point would I not be “OK” anymore? Is the damage noticeable yet? How much longer before I’ll start looking bloated? What’s the area between my bellybutton and my chest look like? I could tell where I was at based on the shape of the curve.
Wow! Cheating turned into a science. It’s like that analogy about criminals. If those bad guys would put all their genius into constructive exploits the world would be such a better place. If I could turn my focus back towards making good decisions instead of detecting the slightest changes in my body, the results would be amazing!
I Know Where These Tax Dollars Are Going
I developed a game, a test if you will. Every time I would catch myself looking at my body in profile, I would tax myself a quarter. Within a week, I’d drastically reduced the number of looks I was taking. Unfortunately, the weight loss hadn’t followed. One good thing did come of it, though. My acknowledgement of this problem led to me making a huge decision.
The elimination diet needed to begin.
A good week and a half passed with no desire to look in a mirror. I was content to weigh in daily, or every other day, to gauge my progress. And my progress was good, damn good. I was losing weight and feeling much better. Things were going really well but, towards the end of the second week, a certain bad habits reappeared. I was looking in the mirror again, in profile, to see how good I looked.
But was it really to see how good I looked? I was leveling off weight-wise and although I’d steered clear of dairy, grains and sugar, I was drinking coffee, diet coke and having larger portions of meat at dinner. Yes, I was checking to see if I could tell any difference.
Shame on me…
Taxation Resurrection
The mirror tax is back but it’s not just about looking at myself in the mirror. It’s about not making exceptions. My plan calls for 13-15 ounces of protein a day so that’s where I need to be. My plan calls for no artificial sweeteners so the Diet Coke has to go. I bought some cherries the other day. Fruit is great but not when overdone. They’re what peanut butter used to be.
You know, it’s like those times when we stop reading scripture daily or miss Mass one week. All it takes is one small exception to start the snowball rolling down. Soon we’ve fallen away from God without even realizing what just happened. It’s never about falling away, though. It’s about confessing, repenting and resolving to do better.
Question: When have you found yourself making exceptions and moving away from one of your goals? How did you stop yourself and get back on track? I’d love to hear your story in the form of a comment below…