I’m not the man God is calling me to be.
A little more than 10 years ago, I didn’t care who God was calling me to be. I wasn’t listening to him. I believed he existed but I knew nothing about him, or His son, or the Holy Spirit.
But in late 2005 I made the decision to unite our family. I wanted our future children to have parents who shared the same faith. I completed RCIA, with my wife Jennifer sponsoring me, and became Catholic the night before Easter Sunday in 2007.
Since then, I’ve been taking baby steps towards God. Sometimes I take leaps, then turn around and run the other way. Sometimes I hide in places of comfort where everything is familiar and there are no risks to be taken. Sometimes I just show up and go through the motions.
The dry spells, the selfishness and the succumbing to temptation I struggle with on this road make the cross I carry heavier and heavier. I will never be perfect but I know I can be much more than I am right now. I know God wants higher peaks and shallower valleys for me. I know what I must do but I turn away from it, much like St. Paul did when he lamented over doing what he shouldn’t do and not doing what he should do.
How To Become The Man God is Calling Me to Be
My writings are all about traveling this road of faith and spiritual growth. This is my path to uniting myself to Christ on the cross. My story of turning away from sin, denying myself and taking up my cross to follow Jesus.
Through my writings, which all come from the power of the Holy Spirit, I travel the road towards healing my heart and opening it to God’s grace and mercy. I grow in love, in faith, and in service to Christ. Sharing this with you keeps me close to God where I can hear his encouraging words and feel his grace.
The Holy Spirit gave me the charism of writing when I was baptized. Charisms are extra spiritual gifts all baptized Christians receive. They are manifested in service of the church and cannot be used to lead people away from God. The words flow when I write about God, what he’s done for me and what he continues to do for me each day.
In my posts and pages I give my witness – the good, the bad and the ugly. Stories of loving more and struggling to love. Stories of serving more and losing the desire to serve. Stories of growing in faith and losing faith. I pray you will see the story of a Catholic man trying to live a more Jesus-centered life, doing what God is calling him to do and I pray you will be inspired to start or continue your own journey.
Becoming Who God is Calling Me to Be – Taking the First Step, Again
I have failed to make writing a regular practice, allowing my selfishness to stifle the expression of my charism. This hurts me, my family, and the Body of Christ. I have the time but I don’t use it properly. I have the energy but I squander it with poor choices. I have the content but I keep it too myself all too often.
As I’ve grown, told my story and heard the stories of others, it has become clear that my triumphs are your triumphs. My tragedies are your tragedies. My struggle is your struggle. It’s because of Jeff Goins’ 7 Day Blogging Challenge that I renew my commitment to this blog. I am blessed to have this opportunity. I pray I will be able, with God’s help, to succeed in this challenge and introduce more of the world to my anything but ordinary life.
