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<p class="in-category"> <span>in:</span> <a href="https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/" rel="category tag">Character</a>, <a href="https://www.artofmanliness.com/podcast/" rel="category tag">Podcast</a>, <a href="https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/self-improvement/" rel="category tag">Self-Improvement</a></p>
<p class="single-date"> <span class="vcard author" itemprop="author" itemscope="" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person"> <span itemprop="name">Brett &; Kate McKay</span> </span> • <span itemprop="datePublished">June 16, 2026</span><meta itemprop="dateModified" content="June 16, 2026"/></p>
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<p>We all want two things that can seem at odds with each other: to be our own person and to belong. We want to stand apart from the crowd, but we also want to be connected to it. When that balance gets out of whack, we either lose ourselves in tribalism or drift into isolation.</p>
<p>My guest today says many of the problems in modern life stem from our inability to hold these two impulses in tension. His name is Luke Burgis, and he’s the author of <a href="https://amzn.to/4gkf5dx"><em>The One and the 99: Forging Identity in the Age of Social Contagion</em></a>. Today on the show, Luke explains how becoming a true individual can give you the strength to be a part of a community. We discuss the difference between a solid self and a pseudo self — and what role families and rites of passage can play in moving us toward one or the other — why modern politics feels like a dysfunctional family, the dangers of performative religion, and much more.</p>
<h3>Resources Related to the Podcast</h3>
<h3><b>Connect With Luke Burgis</b></h3>
<p><a href="https://amzn.to/4gkf5dx"><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-193883" src="https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2026/06/81QT03igY8L._SL1500_.jpg" alt="" width="325" height="494" srcset="https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2026/06/81QT03igY8L._SL1500_.jpg 325w, https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2026/06/81QT03igY8L._SL1500_-320x486.jpg 320w" sizes="(max-width: 325px) 100vw, 325px"/></a></p>
<h3>Listen to the Podcast! (And don’t forget to leave us a review!)</h3>
<p><a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-art-of-manliness/id332516054?mt=2"><img decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-111440 size-full" src="https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2020/02/listen-apple-podcasts.jpg" alt="Apple Podcast." width="300" height="77"/></a></p>
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<p><a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/2vJHmWhhcMQRXtTruuFWTJ"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-111444 size-full" src="https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2020/02/spotify.png" alt="Spotify." width="300" height="109"/></a></p>
<p><a href="https://castro.fm/podcast/3c765314-b44c-410d-91c5-a36600abcca3"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-191297" src="https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2020/08/podcastcastro_orig.png" alt="Listen on Castro button." width="300" height="100"/></a></p>
<p><a href="https://art19.com/shows/the-art-of-manliness/episodes/2ebc89a9-1dcb-4b95-ae9d-06cf79aab53e">Listen to the episode on a separate page.</a></p>
<p><a href="https://rss.art19.com/episodes/2ebc89a9-1dcb-4b95-ae9d-06cf79aab53e.mp3">Download this episode.</a></p>
<p><a href="https://www.omnycontent.com/d/playlist/aaea4e69-af51-495e-afc9-a9760146922b/6081eee7-c459-4e12-a1ab-aadc000fc4a7/413a6904-4d72-4be8-9421-aadc000fc4ba/podcast.rss">Subscribe to the podcast in the media player of your choice.</a></p>
<h3>Transcript Coming Soon</h3>
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Podcast #1,121: Belonging Without Conforming — The Path From Pseudo Self to Solid Self
