Our immaculate Lady, sinless and spotless, is the model of femininity for every woman in the Christian life.
Realistically, how are we supposed to relate to the Blessed Mother? An overall theme we can find in Mary, and in every woman, is strength — a virtue often overlooked.
Three women in different stages of life offer Register readers how they see Mary’s feminine strength in a different way, through the lens of their own vocation.
Annie Shaw, 23, who married a year ago, just welcomed her first child with her husband Ben in March. Her experience with Our Lady is like many cradle Catholics.
Shaw, now residing in Ohio, prayed the Rosary with her family and learned about the importance of Our Lady growing up. It always “felt regimented,” Shaw said.
She gave her life fully to the Lord at age 18 at an Encounter Ministries retreat. In her growing relationship with the Holy Spirit, she learned more about Mary’s title as “Mary, Spouse of the Holy Spirit.” Shaw had the realization that both Mary and the Holy Spirit, though hidden, reveal Jesus.
“I think the hiddenness of Mary has changed my perspective of Mary, femininity, overall,” Shaw said.
Shaw found that Mary’s strength is in her hiddenness, as Shaw experienced in her own pregnancy.
“Practically, my pregnancy was very complicated … and you don’t always see that. … I just have to be receptive and cultivate that fruit in my life,” Shaw said.
“I’m a big fan of dialoging with the Lord in prayer, asking questions, seeking the Lord in asking direct questions,” Shaw said when asked to give her advice. “I do this even with Mary: What does true femininity look like? She loves to reveal the truth.”
“Mary teaches in her hiddenness it is better to be hidden in the Lord than seen by the world; better to be known by the Lord in littleness than be known by the world in greatness,” she added.
While Shaw has found a lot of Our Lady’s strength in her hiddenness, Kate Fields, 25, also in Ohio, is currently single and found her relationship with Mary in different ways throughout college and in the death of her late mother in high school.
Fields’ mother’s passing had a big influence on her reliance on Mary. Mothers can be tough and strong for you, and for Fields, “I needed her [Mary] to be strength for me,” she said.
Fields felt that Mary pursued her a lot in college, notably through her Catholic household at Franciscan University, called “Theotokos,” an ancient theological title for Mary meaning “God-bearer” or “Mother of God.” Through her household, Fields found how Mary was present in every part of Jesus’ passion and how she is also present to her.
“I believe Mary’s strength lies in her deepest surrender,” Fields added, relating her experiences back to Mary’s strength. “I see her [Mary] with dirty hands and an apron that’s covered in life. Her life was very messy,” Fields added. Even so, she trusts in the grace of God to carry her.
Fields finds the feminine heart of Our Lady a place of solace in the unknown nature of life. “I haven’t physically suffered like Jesus, but Mary’s internal heart I relate to,” she said.
Molly Head is a former military spouse and mother to five children and three grandchildren. Head, now residing in Florida, finds Mary’s suffering for her family as her greatest strength, considering she did it all with such grace.
“As a mom, former military spouse, so many things I’ve had to go through that are hard: trials, watching my kids go through really hard periods in life, and how I’ve looked to her [Mary] for comfort,” Head reflected.
Mary is a shining example of a woman who saw much of her life outside of her own control but deeply trusted in the providence of God in her life.
“She [Mary] gave full trust and surrender, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t have feelings,” Head pointed out.
If Mary can do it all — through the unforeseen circumstances of where her child was to be born and flight into Egypt, for instance — with so much faith, trust and great love, so can we, added Head, who shared one of her Marian-minded prayers: “Mary, I’m a mom suffering here with my kids, and you watched your Son suffer and be tortured.”
For those who struggle to relate to Mary, Head advises: “Maybe you’re unable to relate to her in holiness, but you should strive to want to be more like Mary.”