Study Finds Many Young Men Feel Lonely, Disconnected, Shut Out of the American Dream| National Catholic Register

More than half of U.S. young men report feeling lonely or isolated at least some of the time, nearly half lack a sense of community, and many say the American dream feels increasingly out of reach, according to a report from the Institute for Family Studies.

The second installment of the institute’s “America’s Demoralized Men” study, based on a nationally representative YouGov survey of 2,000 men ages 18 to 29, examined young men’s social lives, mental health, civic engagement, and online habits. Researchers said the findings revealed a generation that still desires marriage, fatherhood, and meaningful work but often struggles to achieve those goals.

“We really tried to allow young men to speak for themselves,” said Michael Toscano, co-author of the report and director of the Family First Technology Initiative at the Institute for Family Studies. “They still have these honorable aspirations to be responsible men, to marry, to have children, and to contribute to society.”

A generation searching for connection

Researchers described many respondents as “demoralized” — not because they have abandoned hope entirely, but because many feel powerless to reach the lives they desire.

The survey found that 61% of young men often feel they have little control over what happens to them, while 54% said they never seem to do enough to please others. More than 4 in 10 (43%) agreed with the statement “I am inclined to think that I am a failure.”

Loneliness also emerged as a defining theme.

While roughly 45% of respondents said they rarely or never feel lonely, 55% reported feeling lonely at least some of the time. Similarly, 54% said they feel isolated at least occasionally, and nearly half (48%) said they lack a sense of community. About 1 in 5 respondents said they seldom or never feel loved or wanted by others.

Toscano cautioned against attributing the crisis to a single cause.

“We strive in the report not to think in a monocausal way,” he said. “The loneliness crisis is something that is visiting everyone.”

Still, he argued that the breakdown of family life has played a significant role.

“An honest assessment of where young men are today would have to begin with the breakdown of the family,” Toscano said, noting that many respondents still desire marriage and fatherhood but increasingly feel those milestones are beyond reach.

Fewer friendships, less community

The survey also found many young men have few close relationships.

About 4 in 10 respondents reported having two or fewer close friends, including 34% who have just one or two close friends and 9% who said they have none at all.

Researchers found that strong institutional ties often made a difference. Young men connected to marriage, education, or religious communities were more likely to report having three or more close friends. Participation in all-male organizations during adolescence, such as sports teams or the Boy Scouts, was also associated with stronger friendships later in life.

Overall civic participation remained relatively low. Although 57% participate in at least one community activity, only 31% volunteer regularly, while fewer than one-third belong to a faith-based group, social club, or civic organization. Just one-quarter attend religious services at least monthly.

Financial worries 

Economic concerns also weighed heavily on respondents.

About half agreed with the statement “No matter how hard I work, people like me will never achieve the American dream,” while nearly three-quarters (72%) said personal connections matter more than ability or hard work when it comes to getting ahead.

Toscano said rising living costs were one of the clearest explanations offered by respondents.

“The main expression of doubt in the American dream was the sense that the money they earned was simply not enough to keep up with the rising costs of life,” he said.

Despite those concerns, optimism has not disappeared entirely. An overwhelming 84% of respondents said having ambitious plans for the future describes them at least somewhat well.

Digital habits often deepen distress

The report also points to widespread use of electronic media, with researchers warning that many young men appear to be using technology as a substitute for genuine relationships.

Nearly half (44%) play video games many times each day, while another 42% play at least several times a week.

Pornography use was also common. About 42% reported viewing pornography daily or several times each week, including 24% of regular religious service attendees.

Online gambling likewise proved widespread, with 23% gambling daily and another 12% doing so several times a week.

Toscano said these behaviors appear to function as what the report calls “maladaptive coping.”

“If the world around you is increasingly closing off your opportunity to be a successful man, what you might do is look for it in a synthetic environment,” he said.

Researchers found strong links between frequent online activity and emotional distress. Among men who watch pornography many times a day, 43% reported loneliness, 36% depression, and 29% anxiety. Two-thirds of daily online gamblers reported emotional distress, while 66% of daily gamblers and 63% of daily pornography users described themselves as failures, compared with 42% of young men overall.

Toscano emphasized that the survey cannot establish cause and effect but suggests a troubling cycle in which loneliness and unhealthy digital habits reinforce one another.

A call for the Church

Although church attendance was associated with stronger social connections, Toscano noted that loneliness remains common even among churchgoers.

“The lonely might be sitting in the pew right next to them,” he said.

He encouraged pastors and parish leaders to listen carefully to young men’s experiences, affirm their aspirations, and create opportunities for authentic friendships and mentorship between younger and older men.

“There still remains a desire for them to get married and have kids and have good jobs,” Toscano said. “We need to encourage those desires.”

He also said the Church should respond to the broader loneliness crisis affecting every generation. Referencing Pope Leo’s call for “digital sobriety,” Toscano said Catholics of all ages — not only young people — must intentionally rebuild face-to-face relationships.

“It’s time for everyone to be called out of their shell,” he said.

Despite significant obstacles, he said, many young men continue to desire family, responsibility, meaningful work, and lives of service.

“Men have value as men,” Toscano said. “It’s important to allow them to contribute to society as men. That’s not something we should be afraid of, but something we should encourage.”