‘Hope is a virtue, and we have to rely on that,’ says Phoenix Bishop John Dolan. ‘But we can’t do it alone.’
Editor’s Note: Suicide prevention is very personal to Bishop John Dolan of Phoenix. Having tragically lost three of his siblings to suicide, he recently celebrated the third annual Mass of Remembrance for those who have died by taking their own lives. Marking the month of September as National Suicide Prevention Month, the shepherd of Phoenix talks with Catherine Hadro on EWTN News In Depth about how this has affected him personally and why mental health ministry is so important.
The Centers for Disease Control says suicide is a leading cause of death today and has become a serious public health problem. Suicide rates increased by approximately 36% between the years 2022. It was responsible for more than 49,000 deaths in 2022 alone. Bishop John Dolan of Phoenix established the Office of Mental Health Ministry in his diocese in 2022. He joins us now to discuss this tough issue, his family story, and what more the church can do to address the rising rates of suicide.
Your Excellency, thank you for coming on to speak about this difficult topic. You were only in 8th grade when your first sibling died by suicide. Do you mind sharing more about how this type of tragedy has impacted your life over the years?
Well, over the years, yes, it has impacted my life, there’s no doubt about it. When my brother died, he was probably 19 years old, I believe, and hanged himself. And my family, of course, we were very Catholic. We went to Catholic school. We were attending Catholic Mass. We were altar servers. The faith was very, very powerful in our family life. It was just a central part of our family. Church was really an extension of our home. But when Tom died by suicide, he was getting into some trouble with drugs, and then ultimately the law and all of that led to a level of despair. But we weren’t aware of the wholeness of this, the whole aspect of this. We had no sense in the ’70s that we were talking about mental-health-related issues. This wasn’t something you would talk about either. And so for me, as a child, we sort of clammed up. My parents clammed up. My folks wouldn’t ever really talk about it, and we did as well. And that came back to haunt each and every one of us in our family in one way or another.
So it has had an impact over the course of my life. Yes.
And after your brother Tom, your sister Therese, I believe, was a Catholic schoolteacher when she died by suicide. Bishop, that might surprise people, that someone who’s practicing the faith can still die by suicide. Can you address that and other misconceptions people might have on this topic, especially within the Church?
Yeah, I think there’s the thing about suicide or mental health. Mental health specifically may or may not be an actual physical reality, but often it is. So that’s something that we as a family had to grasp over a period of time. Again, we weren’t aware of that. Now, the beautiful thing about faith and science is they both lead to God. That’s our Catholic tradition. And yet, at the same time, we really didn’t have a sense of how that science worked for us in our life. And so we would just simply say, well, be a good Catholic. Pray, have your devotions. All of which was a part of our lives. And my sister Therese was very profoundly devoted. She was a regular attendee in her married life and attended Sunday Mass. And she participated in her parish school where she was a teacher of art. And she was very vibrant in many ways. And yet, as we were waiting for her to come home for Thanksgiving along with her husband, we discovered that the coroner showed up instead. And that was devastating for the entire family, as you can imagine.
I can.
But the faith is one aspect. It’s an aspect. We want to pray. Of course, we have to. We have to go to God. But what we’ve discerned over great studies showing that religion may be a social determinant of health [is that] there’s a difference between, say, ideation. People might have suicidal ideation. They’re thinking about that, and they may be going to church, participating in the life of the church, and you would never know that they’re thinking about suicide. On the other hand, those who aren’t practicing their faith, they may be affiliated to faith, to some kind of a church. They will have a greater chance of acting on that ideation than a person who is participating in the life of the church. And that’s why mental health ministry is so essential for me.
Absolutely. And I should mention your sister Mary Elizabeth died more recently, I think closer to two years ago, from suicide. And Bishop, I imagine this type of tragedy is one you just look up and ask, Why, God? Why? And yet you have faith in God, and you discerned the priesthood.
Yes. Yes, I was discerning the priesthood. You know, before, my sister Therese had died. I was a junior in the college seminary at the time. And then after I was ordained a priest, my sister Mary was showing all the signs of a desire to die. And, in fact, she had attempted multiple times. I had never met a person who wanted to live as much as Mary wanted to live every day. Can you imagine just getting up and thinking, how am I going to try to get through this day without killing myself? I mean, it was such a tragic thing. And she ultimately did that shortly after I became bishop here in Phoenix.
We just have a little bit of time left, Your Excellency. But I did want to ask if there’s someone who is watching right now who is feeling despair, who’s feeling darkness, what message do you have for them?
Well, I would say the first is don’t give up hope. You know, every hope, as Pope Francis is encouraging us in this coming Jubilee Year — it’s a year of hope. We need to find those benchmarks of hope and hang on to them. But we can’t go it alone. Talk about it with somebody and allow someone else to assist you in this virtue of hope. Hope is a virtue, and we have to rely on that, but we can’t do it alone. It’s like an alcoholic who just cries in his or her pillow every night to God but never goes to AA or reaches out to someone. That person is never going to get to a step toward recovery. And the same thing is true for people who may be struggling with suicidal ideation or just depression or other mental health-related issues. Reach out to someone. Talk about it. Don’t be afraid about it. People are talking about it more and more today, and I think that’s great, because it’s going to lower the stigma. So don’t be afraid.
Absolutely. Well, thank you for all that you’re doing to change that stigma. Thank you for your vulnerability and your leadership on this issue, Bishop Dolan.
