For many young Catholics in the years after college, the question of vocation looms large. How is God calling me to serve? Where should I go? And often quietly held in the background: Will I be called to marriage — and with whom?
For hundreds of alumni of FOCUS — the Catholic evangelization organization that serves on campuses and at parishes in the U.S. and worldwide and which is hosting SEEK 2026 in three U.S. cities, bringing thousands of souls together in faith, through Jan. 5 — those questions unfold not in isolation, but within the norms of missionary life. Early mornings of prayer, days spent planning Bible studies mentoring students, frequent travel, and intentional community life with teammates shape both faith and discernment.
Within that environment, friendships formed through shared mission sometimes grow into something more. For Jose and Mimi Caballero, Michael and Elizabeth Vu, and Nick and Hanna Richter, the call to evangelize college students after graduation became the setting where another vocation slowly and unexpectedly took shape.
For each couple, marriage did not emerge despite mission, but through it.
Jose and Mimi Caballero: Formation That Lasts
Jose Caballero, now a regional director of FOCUS serving Louisiana and Southern Mississippi, joined the apostolate in 2019 after graduating from Texas A&M University. After his first year at Texas State University, he was reassigned to the University of South Carolina in 2020. That same year, Mimi, an LSU grad, arrived for her first year on staff.
Like all first-year missionaries, Mimi observed the FOCUS dating fast, a yearlong commitment to refrain from romantic relationships to focus fully on prayer, formation and mission.
“That year gave me space to grow in prayer and understand why I was there in the first place,” Mimi told the Register.
Jose, no longer on a dating fast, noticed her dedication but understood that patience was part of missionary life. The two built a friendship grounded in shared mission and common interests.
“There was no pressure,” Jose said. “We were both trying to be faithful where God had placed us.”
After completing her first year with FOCUS, Mimi remained at USC for a second year. Only after that season of continued mission in 2022 did Jose ask her out, confident that what they were discerning had been formed slowly and prayerfully.
That same year, Mimi was reassigned to Georgia Tech in accordance with FOCUS policy. Missionaries are not permitted to date while serving on the same campus, a guideline meant to protect mission focus and community life.
“We really had that foundation of friendship and getting to know each other without the romantic part,” Mimi said. “Spending so much time on the same team and enjoying one another’s company was very special.”
The distance, she noted, became another means of formation.
“Mission already stretches you in a way,” Mimi said. “Learning how to navigate a relationship in the middle of that was humbling. You’re learning how to trust and to love in a way that isn’t just about what feels easy.”
They added that even small, shared habits — like saying night prayer together over the phone when time was otherwise limited — helped anchor their relationship in faith, putting God at the center.
The couple became engaged in March 2024 and married that November. In August 2025, they welcomed their son, John Henry.
For Jose, the disciplines cultivated during his missionary years continue to shape not only his leadership in overseeing missionaries throughout his region, but also his understanding of fatherhood and the ripple effects of missionary formation across generations.
“The degree to which I’m a good father and husband is the degree to which I’m faithful to prayer,” he said. “That foundation was built during mission.”
Reflecting on the long-term fruit of evangelization, Jose said the impact of missionary formation extends well beyond the individual students that missionaries walk with, including how those students later approach relationships, dating and family life.
“When my 4-month-old son goes to school one day, the kids he’s friends with are going to be the kids of the parents who were hopefully involved in a Bible study and who were formed in discipleship or some sort of formation,” he said. “Mission doesn’t just affect one person. It affects families and, eventually, entire communities.”
While Mimi has since stepped away from FOCUS staff, both credit their years on mission with forming habits that continue to bear fruit in their marriage and family life.
Michael and Elizabeth Vu: Friendship and Clarity
Michael and Elizabeth Vu both joined FOCUS in 2019. Elizabeth, a Texas A&M graduate, spent her first years on mission at Georgia Tech, while Michael, an LSU alumnus, served his first year at the University of Florida before being reassigned to Georgia Tech for his second.
As teammates in their second year, they shared the same disciplined life of prayer, retreats and student mentorship.
“We were learning how to love students first,” Elizabeth said. “That really shaped everything. Our focus wasn’t on each other — it was on helping students grow in their relationship with God.”
Serving together as teammates for a full year allowed them to build a strong foundation of friendship. They observed each other’s leadership, prayer life, and dedication to students, which prepared them to enter a romantic relationship with clarity and discernment.
When Michael and Elizabeth decided to pursue a relationship in May 2021, Michael was reassigned to Clemson University, per the FOCUS guidelines.
The transition ushered in a season of long-distance dating layered on top of already demanding schedules.
“We talked on the phone every day, and Michael would write me letters in little journals, which he’d give me when we saw each other,” Elizabeth recalled. “They were very sweet and romantic, and we kind of gave each other little ‘goodie bags’ whenever we visited.’”
“There was sacrifice involved,” Michael said. “But obedience brought clarity. We weren’t asking what felt easiest. We were asking what faithfulness required.”
That clarity, they said, fostered intentional communication and trust.
“Mission teaches you how to give when you’re tired,” Elizabeth noted. “The habits of giving yourself away in mission carry into marriage and family. You practice sacrifice for something bigger than yourself.”
The couple became engaged in February 2022 and married in October of that year. Elizabeth left staff shortly before in the summer of 2022, while Michael continues to serve in leadership with FOCUS, overseeing alumni missionaries across several states. Both emphasized that sharing a common understanding of missionary life has been a lasting gift to their growing family.
“Mission life can be so consuming, and it’s hard to balance personal life and work as a focused missionary because the lines are so blended,” Michael added. “Dating and then marrying someone who truly understands the demands and rhythms of missionary life was incredibly helpful.”
Nick and Hanna Richter: Marriage on Mission
Nick and Hanna Richter met even earlier in the formation process during national FOCUS training at Ave Maria University in 2019. Both were new missionaries preparing for their first assignments — Nick to the University of Alabama, where Hanna had been a student, and Hanna to Texas A&M, where Nick had just graduated.
Like all first-year missionaries, they observed the dating fast.
“You’re learning how to pour yourself out for the students God entrusts to you,” Hanna said. “There’s really no room for half-heartedness.”
When the fast ended in May 2020, the two began discerning a relationship while serving on separate campuses.
“Mission teaches you that love is a choice,” Nick said. “You choose it daily, even when it costs you something.”
They became engaged in February 2021 and married that November. In keeping with FOCUS policy, the engaged — and later married — couple was assigned to the same campus, serving together at Texas A&M for several years. During their final years there, they co-led their missionaries as team directors.
Serving as a married couple on campus, Nick said, offered students a visible witness to the vocation of family life lived intentionally.
“We saw a statistic once that said around 50% of college students come from nontraditional households,” he said. “To witness an authentic missionary marriage with some of our own missionaries — working through disagreements, raising children — that was a great blessing.”
“Our lives are meant to be given to the Lord and others,” Hanna added. “That’s the whole purpose of marriage: to be a gift of self to your spouse and to your children, while learning how to live in mission together.”
The Richters briefly served in Ireland before returning to the United States. They are now based in Denver with their three children, where Nick is preparing to step into a regional director role and Hanna serves in FOCUS’ Freedom Project, helping staff and students grow in chastity, sobriety and excellence — known internally as the “Big Three.”
Reflecting on her years on staff, Hanna noted that their story is far from uncommon.
“Out of 30 to 35 teammates I’ve had, probably over half are married now,” she said. “And almost all married someone they met through FOCUS.”
Lessons Carried Forward
For these couples, missionary life didn’t just shape how they served students; it shaped how they love, build families, and live intentionally. Daily habits of prayer, sacrifice, and accountability on campus now guide how they lead their households and support one another.
Nick reflected on the lessons that extend beyond ministry: “You learn early that fulfillment comes from giving yourself away. It shapes how you love your spouse, your children, and even the students you walk with every day.”
“You don’t join FOCUS to find a spouse,” Elizabeth added. “But when you put yourself in a place where faith is taken seriously, God sometimes surprises you.”
Through friendships built as teammates, long-distance discernment, and the discipline of mission, these couples discovered how to love with patience and obedience. Mission became the framework in which they learned to listen and sacrifice, lessons that now play out daily in their marriages, parenting and communities.
Looking more broadly at FOCUS missionaries, Jose explained that many find their spouse during this season of life for a few reasons. Missionary formation accelerates emotional and spiritual growth, uniting people more deeply to Christ and, in turn, helping them discern vocation. The timing often aligns with individuals in their 20s, a decade when many people meet their future spouse. He noted that there’s no single pattern: Some meet teammates, and others meet at training or through friends.
“What’s most powerful,” he added, “is knowing, ‘We’re both missionaries. We love God enough to put him above everything.’ I’m not saying people outside of FOCUS don’t think that — but it’s something you especially find in FOCUS.”
