The Work of the Catholic Home| National Catholic Register

All that is required is an invitation.

Laughter and music filled every inch of our house the weekend we moved in. It was a gathering for visiting missionaries during their two-week door-to-door ministry. The delightful sounds arose from 60 people, both parishioners and religious: the Sister Servants of the Lord and the Virgin of Matará and seminarians from the Institute of the Incarnate Word. Prayer, song, food and friendship marked the evening. I am hard-pressed to conceive of a better way to have spent the first weekend in our new home. In retrospect, St. Paul’s Letter to the Romans comes to mind: “Contribute to the needs of the holy ones; exercise hospitality” (Romans 12:13). That night made a lasting impression of the home’s ability to foster Catholic culture. It is the work of the Catholic home to be a credible witness of faith in service of the Church through hospitality.

The word “hospitality” has its etymological beginnings in the Middle Ages, from the Latin hospitalitem (meaning “friendliness to guests”). This “friendliness” is evident throughout salvation history and especially within the Gospels and Acts of the Apostles. Jesus’ ministry often depended upon the hospitality of others. Within the Scriptures are a myriad of moments in which Christ instructed over a shared table and meal. Even the beginning of Christ’s earthly life came to be through the hospitality of Our Lady, continuing in the Visitation, and in her reception of the shepherds and Magi. The seeding of the Church was rooted in the friendliness toward the apostles. For centuries, there has been a relationship between hospitality and the Church, perhaps one of the greatest examples being the reception of pilgrims by the Desert Fathers. Hospitality is an extension of the Church, namely, what occurs at the conclusion of the Mass as the faithful are sent to transmit the faith.

Cultivating Community

Hospitality serves as a road from loneliness to community, an underutilized tool for evangelization. The home is the gathering place to nurture relationships — and not just the relationship of the family. It is the place where a home culture is fostered and shared. In this way, hospitality is the work of the Catholic home. It is through the act of intimacy that we come to recognize that we are accompanying each other home to eternity, and, therefore, is essential to the building of a Catholic culture. 

There were metrics referenced in Robert Putnam’s book Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community that highlight a massive decline in entertaining at home from the 1950s to the 1970s. Now, living in the digital age, there has been an even steeper decline post-1990. The culture’s focus on home and community took a parallel decline as society increasingly drew inward. Simply put, society became anti-social. And the harsh reality is that there were no home cultures to share. The world has been successful in its effort to pull us out of our homes and away from each other. Further seeding the problem is the addiction to screens and the development of digital communities (and worlds). These fall short of filling the deep-seated need of mankind to be a part of a tangible community. Ours has devolved into an isolated world. 

The home provides an element of realism that is necessary in the formation of the human person that technology could never replicate. Exposure to a Catholic home provides a unique experience for both the faithful and uncatechized through an experiential view into a Catholic life. In a talk during the 2024 Napa Institute Summer Conference, Noelle Mering, of TheologyofHome.com and the Ethics and Public Policy’s Theology of Home Project, said that the home is often able to do what an invitation to Mass cannot. An inviting home, specifically a loving home culture, softens the heart for seeds of faith planted through friendship, particularly if there is any hesitancy toward the Church. Catholic hospitality not only serves those outside of the Church as an evangelical tool, but also affirms one’s own home culture. There is a cliché that says “entertaining seeks to impress, but hospitality seeks to bless.” This is more than a saying embroidered upon a dish towel; it contains a depth of wisdom. Our homes need not be magazine-worthy, for hospitality is foremost evident within the heart. Home need only be a refuge of friendship. 

Fostering Friendship

Historically, hospitality within the life of the Church was not extended only by locals from a holy site bestowing generosity upon pilgrims, but via the friendship between pilgrims on the journey to heaven. Two saints that exemplify this power of friendship and hospitality are St. John Henry Newman and St. Philip Neri. Newman was a beneficiary to the evangelical hospitality of a friend and Neri a bestower of friendship upon those in need. 

St. John Henry Newman, former Anglican priest and Catholic convert, speaks of one friend to whom he “owes so much” for being the driving force of his conversion. Hurrell Froude challenged and encouraged Newman throughout his search for truth. He was instrumental in the life of Newman, but also in the future of a movement in their town that came to be known as the “Oxford Movement,” a 19th-century revival pivoting many of the faithful toward Rome. When Newman was elevated to cardinal in 1879, he chose the motto cor ad cor loquitur (“heart speaks to heart”), very telling of the influences and importance of friendship. St. Philip Neri, the 16th-century Italian priest and founder of the Congregation of the Oratory, embodied Christian charity as he took vulnerable boys off of the street and brought them into a home culture. St. Philip Neri had an ardent desire to be a missionary upon foreign shores, like his contemporary St. Francis Xavier, but was told that Rome was to be his Indies. A story tells that once, as he preached, Neri converted the hearts of more than 30 young souls. The work of St. Philip Neri embodies the importance of our own spheres of influence. We often imagine missionary life in distant lands, but the fertile ground for the transmission of faith is within the recesses of our own streets and communities, springing from friendship.

The Heart of the Matter

In order to live out this work, the Catholic home needs to develop a Catholic identity — as a place of love and prayer, centered around a sacramental life. This is the preparation that transforms entertaining into hospitality. A great number of “entertaining” books teem with recipes and how-tos for a “smashing” party, but they fail to get to the heart of why hospitality matters. Not to disparage these types of tips, as they can be immensely helpful, but they fail to venture beyond the superficial. When the importance of hospitality is derived, everything else naturally falls into place. The host changes the focus from impressing to blessing others through relationship and quiet witness.

When hosting, whether al fresco or within the home, prepare as much work beforehand so as to be mentally and emotionally available to guests. This can take the form of cooking ahead of time and keeping the meal warm. This way, the most important thing — namely fostering relationships — can be the primary focus of the gathering. Hosting a Rosary-focused potluck is another wonderful way to encourage community centered around faith and an opportunity to include friends outside of the faith, welcoming them into a Catholic home culture. The road from stranger to relationship and finally to community is found within our homes. The experience of the natural home culture prepares hearts for the supernatural found within the Church. All that is required is an invitation.

Theology of Home IV is available at EWTNRC.com and (800) 854-6316.