Are You Feeling Trapped Caring for Elderly Parents? — Talkspace
What to Do if You Feel Trapped Caring for Elderly Parents
Given all these challenges, it’s easy to see why feeling trapped is a common experience among caregivers. However, it’s important to recognize that these feelings don’t have to define your caregiving journey.
By taking proactive steps, you can alleviate some of the pressures and create a more sustainable and balanced approach to caring for your elderly parents. Below, we outline practical strategies to help you cope with these emotions and regain control of your life.
Seek support from family and friends
Don’t be afraid to seek help if you feel trapped caring for elderly parents. You don’t need to handle everything on your own. Reach out to family members and close friends who may be able to provide emotional support or even share in the caregiving responsibilities. Recognizing when you need support is crucial for the job you’re doing and for your own well-being.
Consider asking for help with things like grocery shopping, meal prep, or companionship. Even a short break can alleviate some of the pressure you’re feeling. Having a support network can lighten the load and help you feel less isolated. Even if they can’t offer physical assistance, sometimes just having someone to talk to can make a world of difference.
Explore respite care options
Respite care provides temporary relief for primary caregivers by offering professional care for your elderly parents, allowing you to take a break. This type of care can be set up for anywhere from a few hours to several weeks at a time.
“Being a full time caregiver to our aging parents can be incredibly rewarding but also incredibly stressful. The stress isn’t just on the caregiver but also the aging parent. Understanding what respite care is and how to utilize it best to help balance out a healthy relationship between aging parents and adult children is important. It’s also helpful when the caregivers are not as experienced in medical needs so a home nurse or a day center can help in fulfilling those roles as well.”
If you need a break or have an obligation — like a doctor’s appointment, lunch with a friend, a child’s school event, or anything that demands your full attention — respite care can ease your mind as you know that your parents will be taken care of.
Respite care can be used in various settings and provide much-needed reprieve. Options might include:
- In-home care
- Adult care centers
- Short-term nursing home
- Temporary assisted living facility stays
Regularly scheduled respite care services can help prevent burnout and provide you with the time you need to recharge.
Set boundaries and manage expectations
Setting boundaries is crucial to maintaining your well-being. Clearly communicate with your family and your parents about what you can realistically handle. It’s okay to say no to certain requests or to delegate tasks to others. Managing your own expectations—and those of others—can help reduce the pressure you may feel to do it all.
Take care of your own health
Your health is just as important as your parents’. Make sure you’re eating well, getting enough sleep, and finding time for physical activity. Incorporating self-care for caregivers into your daily routine can help reduce stress and improve your ability to care for your parents. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup; taking care of yourself is essential to avoiding caregiver burnout and being able to care for others.
“Caregiver burnout is real and can impact the caregiver’s mental health but also the aging parent. Making sure that the balance for caring for our parents and caring for ourselves is important. Self-care can include taking a few moments during the day to do some mindfulness/calming activities to utilize the services available to help get breaks. It’s important to remember that self-care is not being selfish.”
Consider professional counseling or support groups
Any time you feel trapped caring for elderly parents, focusing on your mental health and emotional well-being is crucial. If feelings of being trapped or overwhelmed persist, consider seeking professional help to manage the emotional toll of your caregiver responsibilities. Seeking professional help can give you a safe space to express your feelings and learn effective coping mechanisms. An experienced therapist can help you navigate the complex emotions you’re experiencing. Guilt, resentment, or even grief are common during this time, and having the right tools to cope is critical.
Additionally, joining a support group for caregivers can connect you with others in similar situations, providing valuable and comforting advice and a sense of community you might be craving. They offer an opportunity to share experiences, get and give advice, and feel less isolated.
Get finances in order
Family caregivers often experience significant financial strain. Some studies suggest the economic impact of income-related losses sustained by caregivers can be more than $300,000 in lost benefits and income.
Financial stress adds another layer to an already challenging situation. Managing your parents’ finances isn’t always easy, but you can start by reviewing their current financial state and resources. Find out how much they have in savings, what and where insurance policies are, and if they qualify for or receive any government benefits or assistance.
It might be helpful to contact a financial advisor who specializes in elder care as you plan for future expenses and determine potential funding sources. Make sure to keep an organized budget so you can track caregiving costs and make future financial decisions.
