First, let’s celebrate two posts in a row! It’s the beginning of a commitment, not something to be taken for granted. I remember starting my own business in 1994 and two days in deciding I’d made a huge mistake. I think about that experience still and I can’t help thinking it’s made me less willing to take risks. That’s an example of a story I’ve been telling myself and in 2013, my goal is to stop living my life according to those old stories. Gone will be the stories of fear and timidity.
2013 is about listening to His call and writing new stories – ones of power, love and self-discipline.
2013 is also about acquiring new skills and, just so happens, today I used one I’d learned while reading A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. So often my mind wanders off and I catch myself living through old patterns of thinking. On a couple of occasions today I was able to use breathing to bring myself back into the present where I broke down those patterns and made decisions consistent with character. I noticed myself rebelling against my own success later in the day. You know, having to “make up” for doing something good by doing something bad – a classic sign of low self-esteem. Instead of giving in, I let those thoughts and feelings pass on through while my mind reset itself and I became conscious of the present once again.
Yes!
Another thing 2013 is about is seeking out new opportunities, with the Lord’s assistance. I spent perhaps too much time today investigating a learning opportunity that is potentially life changing. It’s what I’ve been looking for – people with integrity who teach people how to find their passion and turn it into a career that provides freedom and possibilities. It’s also a program I’d need to pay for with debt, up front anyway. Unfortunately, now is not the best time for us to be accumulating more debt. This decision would be a family decision, a risky one, and one that would require a significant after work time commitment.
2013 is definitely about building family relationships. Today, Jack and I enjoyed Wreck it Ralph and an early dinner at one of our favorite restaurants. Good movie with a great message of friendship, self-discovery, and the dangers of desiring power for power’s sake. In the past, I took on leadership roles more for the status and the power than a desire to lead through service. I thought being the boss was a way to get the approval and attention I hadn’t received earlier in life. Thank God I learned from my earlier mistakes and I now have a far better understanding of what it means to be a leader. Dinner went well, too, as I made healthy choices and left with no regrets.
This day closes with writing. I’ve recorded some brief snippets from my thoughts throughout the day. Now comes the fun part, vomiting my thoughts onto the page with no regard for structure or even punctuation. I could stand to improve at this part. The perfectionist part of me likes things just so, even if it’s just a draft. Good thing there are still plenty of words to be written and plenty of opportunities to write the perfect draft, one that just goes where my fingers and the Lord’s counsel takes me.
God bless,
