I am an addict.
Neither booze nor pills are my crutch.
Sex is not what I seek at all hours of the day and night.
What I’m addicted to is…sugar.
I eat sugar because it’s there. I eat it because I can afford it. I eat it when I’m happy, when I’m sad and when I’m angry.
I eat it when I’m not thinking clearly. Even when I am thinking clearly, I eat it thinking one cookie, or one piece of candy will do no harm.
In each piece of candy, there’s a small piece of the devil. In each spoon of peanut butter, an evil demon lays in wait. Every cookie, brownie or cake is Satan being released into my body.
Through each bite he gains a greater foothold, stealing my soul and blackening my heart. The evil one makes me think about all the bad things in life. He tells me God is not listening and doesn’t care. Satan brings misery and self-pity. Satan tells me I am worthless and this is my lot in life – to fail.
Just like Eve was persuaded to eat the fruit, Satan tells me just to have one bite. Eve listened and so have I, time and time again.
The addict, in order to get better, admits the problem is bigger than he. To me, it’s quite obvious. I didn’t get here alone and I won’t leave by my own doing either. I need the grace, the power, and the strength only my Lord and Savior can provide.
I need Him in my thoughts, 24 hours a day. I need Him to wrap his arms around me, creating a shield the devil cannot penetrate. I need Him to chase the blackness from my heart. Jesus ransomed my heart when he suffered and died upon the cross. Only his saving love can purify it once Satan has taken hold.
The addict uses in order to fill a need. For some the need is significance – false validation. For some the need is familiarity – false security. For others the need is stimulation – false excitement. Lord, help me to understand what need I am trying to fill when I abuse sugar. Fill me Lord with that which I am lacking. Come inside and, with the power of the Holy Spirit, bring me what I long for – true fulfillment of all my emotional needs.
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7
God made me with self-discipline. Anytime I fall I am simply succumbing to the pressures of the world or of Satan himself. This I must remember whenever I am tempted. This we all must remember whenever we are tempted.
God bless,
Todd Marsha
BTW: The day I wrote this, I resisted the devil and ate none of the sugary foods that have plagued me recently. I went on to resist Halloween candy for a little over a week.
